Am so sad to learn that my friend Kathleen Lewis passed away on July 23rd.

I’d known Kathleen for about ten years. We met at the lovely store Auto when we were both starting our businesses. Chris and I had just created a little stationery line called Fred Flare and Kathleen was just beginning to expand her namesake line of handmade soaps, lotions and candles. The folks at Auto helped both of us reach so many new and exciting customers, like Colette in Paris, and so I’ve always seen her as a sort of classmate.

Both our businesses changed over the years that followed but we kept in touch. Chris and I loved her candles – we pretty much spend every evening by candlelight thanks to Kathleen – and would order them from her in cases of 36 at a time, even more at the Holidays. The scents were amazing all natural and the packaging so simple and beautiful. Kathleen did some fun things for us too, like remember way back when we used to do Nancy Drew reviews? Kathleen made a limited-edition rose-scented Nancy Drew travel candle just for us! I remember meeting with her in her Dumbo studio about it and, I have to tell you, the place was IMMACULATE. So beautiful, organized and serene, despite the fact that Kathleen did EVERYTHING herself.

We’d see Kathleen at trade shows too and always stop by for a visit. Kathleen would tell us amazing stories, like how Keri Russell was OBSESSED with her Honey Dream Cream and would chat it up on talk shows and stuff. I guess Keri would even phone Kathleen directly to reorder it. Chris and I would be all bug-eyed, “Wait a minute. FELICITY calls you???”

Then, I dunno, Chris and I started this thing where whenever we really wanted something to happen, we would light one of Kathleen’s candles. Mostly it was silly things like we’d been sending samples to Oprah for years and years and finally we thought they might feature something of ours so we lit one of Kathleen’s candles and hoped hoped hoped… and it totally worked!

About a year ago Chris was having trouble finding a new photographer and had been through several HI-lariously bad interviews. Jen invited her friend Chaunté to come in and try out for the job and we wanted SO bad for Chris to like Chaunté that Jen and I secretly lit a candle back in the warehouse. “Smells like something’s burning,” Chris said. “Oh, it’s nothing!!!!” I shrugged. Anyway, Chaunté totally got hired and I love her so much.

Do you remember how Chris had these big jars of gumballs at the store in the Spring? I had emailed Kathleen to see if she could recommend a good source for glass jars cuz I loved the simple ones she used. And plus I wanted to order some more candles… She emailed me right back saying, “I am in the hospital and I may be here awhile… I will follow up on candles when I can.” I didn’t learn until many months later that Kathleen was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor.

I kept in touch a bit with her husband Larry and we tried to coordinate a visit but it just never quite came together. I deeply regret not getting to see Kathleen again. I was out of town quite a bit trying to get this house upstate I keep talking about… It got a little stressful there at the end and when we were waiting to hear if we were going to close, I figured I better light another Kathleen Lewis candle. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any more.

But I remembered Diane at work had one in her desk, a fir scented candle we gave her one Christmas. I was working from home but called her at the warehouse to ask if she’d light that candle for me. I just needed to know it was there. A little wish, a little hope, a little excitement, a little dream.

True to form, you worked your magic one last time for me, Kathleen. I’m sitting here in my very own home as I write this. It’s past midnight. The rain is pouring outside. And the only lights on in the house are a couple candles. Missing you.