Got up at five – only slept about three hours – and got ready to catch my 7am bus back upstate. Started the day feeling all fired up, jammed on the ecard on the bus and hardly noticed as it began to snow, then raced home to make sure I was on time for Dream Academy. When I arrived at the house around ten Chris was still at the gym. I thought, I’ll get this done and then we’ll meet at noon and it’ll be awesome. But then I just started getting so tired. Noon arrived and Chris wasn’t here and I couldn’t hold my smile up with toothpicks any longer. I’ll just work fifteen more minutes and then take a tiny rest.
Was asleep on the couch when CJ got home, dazed. Was so excited to see him but it came out all froggy sounding, like from the bottom of a well. It was nearly one and we debated how to plan the remainder of the day. Should we meet now? Should I finish the ecard first? The plan we came up with was kinda the greatest. Chris said, Let’s just call it quits for the day and finish everything tomorrow. Took a nap for a couple hours and woke with Lucy and Charlie by my side, feeling a little more myself.
Around four Chris made a cheese plate. We sat and and got caught up. I had a Diet Coke. Hadn’t had one in like six weeks.
OMG, this is the boringest diary entry EVER.
Had planned to go see the tarot card reader today but too tired. Maybe tomorrow. Am writing early because I don’t know how but somehow we’re going to go to a New Year’s Eve party tonight. Really? I could cancel, right? Am torn. I really would just like to lay here and chill and probably go to bed before midnight – that’s what I usually do – but part of me wants to see this thing through. Our neighbors down the street here have invited us to their place for New Year’s and I think they’re having like a DJ party. We could walk there, the cold will wake us up some. Not throwing my hat over the fence just yet. Kinda hoping Chris will suggest staying in at the same time wanting to explore, push myself, keep trying to make friends here. Stare this year down and put it to bed.
Boring boring boring.
I guess as I’m coming to the close of this December diary I really wanted to leave you with something amazing, some soothsayer’s profound gaze into the future or a special moment that I could hang my hat on. Instead, I just feel exhausted. Still have so much to do on the ecard tomorrow and I wanted to show Chris that cheerleading isn’t gonna affect my work in any way and have failed at the first practice.
There’s so much I want to do and I just can’t figure out how to do it all. Gonna keep trying.
Maybe it’s good that there’s nothing special about today, really. It makes it more real. Just because the diary is ending doesn’t really mean anything ends, not really. Been thinking about that as I’ve been putting a dash of thought into the novel I’m gonna start tomorrow. Always interested to see how stories begin and how they end. Cuz in real life things don’t really have those marking points.
In one breath I catch myself working out in the mirror and maybe I’m feeling all fierce and I’m like, This is it. This is the end of this narrative that’s been going about getting through some of the stuff I struggled with this year. And at the same time I’m thinking, This is it. This would make the beginning of a great new movie, one that’s gonna be totally awesome. I love movies that have those makeover scenes where they play a song & you see this big transition/transformation. So in my new movie we actually start with that in the opening credits. Keith working out. Keith at cheerleading practice. Keith making the team. Then we’ll see what happens after that. Cuz the happy ending is awesome but there’s more that follows.
I’ll try and give you an example. Have you seen the movie Flashdance? Ok, LOVED this movie as a kid. It’s so amazing. And I don’t think I’m spoiling it too much to say that at the end there’s a very hopeful, happy ending. It’s very satisfying. But for all the years that have passed since I’ve seen it, I’ve wondered, What happened next?
Sometime – though not this time cuz I’m using this round of No Plot No Prob to write a fred flare mystery – but sometime I would love to write a sequel to Flashdance. I hate to say it but I have a feeling it would be really sad. Like yeah, her audition went great but do you really think the ballet is gonna hire this breakdancing chick?
Yeah, I think that’s the thing I never thought of before. Whoa. My mind is just blowing right now. Pretty sure that at the end of the movie she runs out and embraces her boyfriend and you infer that her audition has landed her a spot in the ballet. I’d always assumed that to be the case. But now I think that was just my imagination. First of all, you pretty much never know at an audition whether you got the part or not.
In my sequel I don’t think she gets the part. And I don’t think she’s with that boyfriend for much longer. He’s too old. So what happens? Well, I kinda want her to embrace her non-trained style and I definitely want her to keep dancing. Maybe she starts taking classes if she wants to? I was gonna say that it’d be cool if she opened her own dance club but I kinda don’t want her to be a business owner. Wouldn’t really wish that on anybody. I imagine it’ll be a story about getting lost and finding your way again. With dance numbers.
Gonna close up shop here for the night and the month and the year and the decade. I promised myself once I finished my last entry of December Diary I could go back and read the first one. Curious to see how it all started. While you might not hear from me for a bit since I’ll be writing a novel in January I’ll definitely be back soon. Thanks for reading this! Your comments have meant SO much. I mentioned a while ago that maybe we could all write diary entries in our blogs on this last night of the year? Would LOVE to hear from you so if you’ve written something pls shoot me a link and we’ll get caught up. I wish you a very, very happy 2010. All the very best to you in the coming year.
Thank you so much for being here for me.